Dating a nigerian man in america
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I am a con african female living in Harlem, originally from Guinea. Some men are good and some are bad. If the man never made an attempt to see you in-person than move on because he is using you. One woman also call me so she can air his tout laundry i still forgive him after weeks of begging and texing calls silly me. That will remind him to love you as you deserve. What stopped her from dating a Ghanaian?.
By confronting and discussing these things, we may actually begin to break the ice … that I am sure you agree often exists between Africans and African Americans. In as much as my intention is not to generalize or stereotype, I am writing this article based on real life experiences and events. Earlier this year, I believe in January, a client walked into my office, his name JD I am sure he is going to read this article. For the record, JD is an African American male and I am an African female. He was a first time client, so we began to chit chat as I worked on his papers. Oh well, he says quite a few African men he knows are doctors … ha,ha,ha. Personally, I only know a handful of girls from Africa who are married to black American men. A couple of girls felt that the African Americans tend to think that they are superior to Africans, showing less respect for them than the Caucasians who are more open to learning about different cultures. Not much in common Fundamental cultural differences serve as a huge divide between both groups; they do not share the same values for the most part. The question is, are these perceptions justified or not? Some African sisters are happily married to African American men. Personally, I believe that there are huge walls of ignorant stereotypes between us when we first meet, but once these begin to be broken down which happens especially when both groups have no choice but to get along , we find that we really have a lot more in common. Looking forward to hearing from you, please leave an honest comment. Image by Lema is on Twitter:. I personally dated an AA male for 12 months and had hoped to settle down but when it came close to that day I just had to face reality and return the ring. Reality in the sense that although he was very well schooled and mannered, with a hefty pay-check, having kids was never a part of his to-do-list. I could have everything I wanted, the expensive dining, NBA games then dine with NBA players , play golf or even a ride in a yatch on weekends; you name it I had s long as I never bring up having kids.. Life with a family of my own. Yet you have other AA male who think they need AF just to satisfy their lustful desires. Africans has always had a problem with preferencing differences over similarities to the point it makes them blind and ignorant of the cultural continuity that all Africans in the Diaspora share. Only a few select Africans from the continent and Africans in the U. African Americans for the ignorant actually recognize we are the same people not only in color but our foundational culture and world view. Those AA who seem to be most different is due to extreme CULTURAL ACCULTURATION OF WESTERN CULTURE. I will admit that modern day African Americans, in general, are more so Americanized than we were 20 or 60 years ago. I see it as AA suffering from cultural imperialsm. This is a whole other subject. However, many AA are not so extremely acculturated and many AA without even understanding what they are doing and some who do still are practicing cultural traditions that originated with their African ancestors who were stolen from Africa and taken to America. So, lets look at the cultural continuity amongst each other using some examples. First, Africans in the U. African Americans and on the continent are emotive very expressive people, we communicate very passionately and we express alot with our hands and body movements. In our music we have an affinity towards call and response and the drum and singing from the soul—the beat the rhythm although that is something that is changing in the U. Suprisingly, cooking styles are very similar even though many of the foods we cook are different—we love as Africans flavorful highly seasoned food and we like to integrate meat and vegetables in our dishes in the form of stews, gumbos, our greens, etc.. We are very spiritual people. However, Black American men are not any different from African men—African men are famous for polygomous marriages in pre-colonial traditional Africa and it is not uncommon for them to have extra-marital relations with other women including having children with them. So, in regards to women and families, what they do is the same but the strategies are very different. Also, I would say the Black American style of relationships is why so many of these men have baby mamma drama. These are just some few examples. Here is my email address liliandesmond221 yahoo. I am waiting for your mail to my email address above. Remember that distance or co-lour does not matter but love matters allot in life. I think that,marriage goes way beyond sexuality which i see as the crux of this mask debate. Do not be too polite and end up losing a tooth. I am a west african female living in Harlem, originally from Guinea. You would htink they would mingle more but in reality there is a divide. I do get approached by AA men sometimes, bu t most of the time they didnt think i was African,t elling me 'you don't look African' which leads me to think what they believe Africans look like. Finding out we are African they seem to be intimidated by this for some reason. AA men and African women don't really move in the same circles, at least not that much right now, i think in about 20 years or so when the first generation comes of age, this will change. As far as having things in common that is true, but i feel two people can connect despite cultural differences. There exists alot of misconception, mistrust still between AA and AFrican people. You can find the other side more, African men and AA women getting together, but it's easier for a man to go after a woman i believe. I will also mention alot of African men would not look well upon African women dating AA men, for whatever reasons. Most african women were brought up with the notion of being provided and catered for by their men. So even when they become the bread winners, they still make it look like their man is doing it all. However, it is the reverse with most AA men who are provided and catered for by their women and even take pride in it even when they could take care of themselves and their partners as well. Dont get me wrong, there are still a good number of AA men who find pride in taking care of their women as they ought to. One word is responsible for this discord between African women and AA men — STEREOTYPES. I also know many African men who would never marry African women. They prefer AA women. That's another issue altogether. At the end of the day, I think we should just all focus on ourselves and try to be the best we can be. He just wants to get something from you. It will happen before your eyes, you will see him marry her an African lady , by them you might have lost all. He can tell you he loves African ladies and love you too but that's it. And what's up with the Michael Jackson quote? I guess he looked at himself in the mirror and made a change.
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